Spring Cleaning

When the mountain laurels start blooming and scent the breezes with their luxurious perfume, my mood cautiously, tentatively begins to lift. "Spring," whispers my heart, "Spring!"

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I am going camping this weekend! I have been longing to go camping for months, and have been absolutely stir crazy for weeks.

Lately I've been feeling trapped, caged, frustrated, bogged down. Do you ever feel like you just want to ruthlessley clean out your closets, strip your house bare and start over with all new surroundings?

My thoughts lately have run in a groove, circling and circling. When I feel like this, my first impulse is always to retreat, drop out, to flee. I suppose that's what I'm doing now, because I have wild hopes of being able to take on a new persona for the next few days, to leave behind the entanglements that keep me in my familiar rut.

I've always wanted to try solo camping. This first time, I'm going to car camp, but if I am ever able to purchase the right equipment, I'd love to try some backcountry camping and also learn how to build a fire so my diet won't consist of PB&J for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Regardless, I'm going to do lots of hiking this weekend at several state parks that are new to me. There's a waterfall I want to check out, and some rivers I want to dip my toes into. True to character, I've overplanned a bit and am shooting to hike in three different state parks in three days.

Another part of me wants to sling my hammock (and if anybody knows the particulars of how actually, you know, one slings a hammock, let me know) and laze in one spot with trashy novels for the next three days.

I'll report back, and hopefully have some pictures.
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My second weigh-in of the year shows that in the past month nothing -- nothing! -- has moved, not up and not down. I know studies say that it's hard to lose weight by exercise alone. My coach says that to lose weight without dieting I'd have to work up to running over 30 miles per week.

On the other hand, two people in the span of two days have told me that my butt looked different. These two commentators were apparently admirers of my butt's previous proportions, and thus their observations were made in a spirit of mourning. I'm a bit appalled, too, because I like that particular -- ahem -- asset, but I wonder if the running and lifting are working in incremental ways to change my body composition, ways that won't register on a scale.

I'm also bummed because a recent column in Runner's World said building muscle to increase metabolism is a myth. I think I've lost faith in finding any sort of consensus is the fitness/medical community about the "right way" to do anything. Nevertheless, I found the column discouraging.

This weekend I'm going to think about what my actual goals are in this whole weight/fitness/mental health triad. What do I want? Do I want to look different? Feel different? Both? What kind of timeline can I accept for these changes? How much emotionally am I willing to invest in these goals? And does this investment of time and energy and money conveniently distract me from other goals I'm avoiding in my professional, educational and/or globetrotting wunderkind life?

One thing I know is that the rut I've been in lately is not only mental, but physical as well.

It's time to change things up!