I am posting another picture of myself on the sidebar. It's not a new picture; it was taken this summer during the Danskin sprint triathlon in Austin.
It's a hugely imperfect picture, but it's a picture that fascinates me in many ways, mostly because when I look at it I always have thoughts about body image and strength and my own perception of myself. I rarely have negative thoughts about myself in relation to this shot, though as I said above, it is wildly imperfect. Mostly I feel pride and a rather rueful self-acceptance. (And, please forgive the look on my face -- I think at that point I was experiencing a brief but intense urge to vomit.)
I don't look much different today than I did all those months ago.
The reason I'm posting this picture is because I've been doing a lot of thinking about weight and my own goals.
For one, I've decided to stop attending Weight Watchers meetings. Thinking about food in a restrictive manner just messes with my mind and makes me miserable. I am also removing my weight statistics from the sidebar.
I have an entry mentally written regarding these decisions and part of the reason I'm posting this picture and this entry is so that I'll make myself accountable to come back to this space and more fully articulate my thoughts.
3 Comments:
You write that you "don't look much different today", but that's just a physical appearance. You've changed a lot in the last few months - you're stronger, you're trying new things, you're setting - and surpassing - your goals. I think it's both wise beyond your years, and extremely healthy, to emphasize those attributes rather than to focus on a wholly arbitrary (and always unsatisfying - even when you're "winning"!) struggle with the scale. Good for you. For thinking it. Good for me. That you wrote it. I needed to hear that too! - Mia
I think you look awesome in both pictures. Strong and healthy and athletic! Fantastic!!
Santana Cody
Megan --
I love both photos. I forgot you're a triathlete! The whole weight on the scale thing is so difficult, but it doesn't really quantify the changes you are making with your body, and the tremendous satisfaction you get knowing you're stronger, can run further and faster, etc., or even your own self-knowledge that comes from challenging yourself. I think about this stuff a lot (ooh, this could be an entry). The scale is just one way of seeing the results. And, ww is designed for the average american woman, eg, sedimentary. I agree, you need to find your own way that is not extreme, that doesn't demonize one type of food or another, but recognizes the pluses and minuses of each. You rock, Megan!
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